I like my women like I like my coffee Black and tastes like warm diarrhea.

Did you know there is a town in Pennsylvania with the same same as one of the Great Lakes? It’s eerie.

I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,”In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “F**kin’ large ones” is not the correct answer.

Why can’t fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.

Q: Why did the girl spray her clock? A: It was full of ticks.

I’m going to subtly spread my brownie crums across your car because I silently resent you for changing the song.

I’m not racist, my shadow is black.

The bartender says “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.

Have you tried complaining about it for hours?

Space Joke What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly…. Guys, we really Apollo-gize