What do you get when you have sex with an Alligator? Gatoraids

What do you call a good joke on Reddit? Unoriginal

If I had known I was going to have this much shit to do at work today I wouldn’t have come in sober

If you hated really old teak furniture, would you be anti antique teak?

My uncle came out of the closet yesterday. He’s not gay. He has Alzheimer’s and thought it was the car.

*Takes our kid away so my wife can have a break* *Takes kid to pub* *Bumps into wife at pub*

Two guys are drinking in a bar… One says to the other, “Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?” “Aww, shit!” says his friend, “and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!”

Girl dog: I’m into bad boys Guy dog: [remembering his owner saying how much of a good boy he is] ..oh

What do you call a man that states the obvious? A man that states the obvious

Do you know how to fry toilet paper? Neither do i….i can only brown one side 🙂