You’ve got to let me meet your dentist, black people.

I disagree with liquor store hours. It’s 8am..let me in.

Hey, dude who’s still lighting fireworks at midnight, nobody would notice a couple of gunshots right now.

What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him? Get off me holmes!

Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls.

What is r/jokes’ main function? ctrl+v

And the moral of Little Red Riding Hood is,,, Learn to differentiate facial features between a wild dog & a human…

Why can’t Edward leave Russia this winter? He’ll be Snowden.

What do you call a pompous piece of bread? A braguette.

How do cats admit they’re gay? They come out of the clawset.