When’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty

what should i do for my 30th birthday??? I’m only 23 but it pays to b prepared

Q.) What happens when a Blonde eats a mosquito? A.) She has more brain cells in her stomach than her head.

Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon.

My heart is like an onion… I’m never getting a discount organ transplant again

Dear Parents If you want to find out where your Son/Doughter is in the house, Simply turn off WI-FI and Wait

Emperor: Luke, kill Vader and become my apprentice. Vader: But why? I’ve been loyal. Emperor: Have you ever listened to yourself breathe?

Last night I was using Google docs This morning I decided to use Google moorings.

Only France would name a city “to lose.”

COACH: You miss 100% of the shots you take. ME: You mean, don’t take? COACH: No. You are, by far, the worst athlete I have ever seen.