My brother was in a car accident yesterday… and lost both his left arm and left leg. Actually, he’s my half brother. He’s all right now.

My wife and I have been seeing a counselor for our sex life, and things have really been improving. We take turns on her.

My facebook homepage has become a sea of ‘who the fuck is that?’

Did you hear about the spilt milk? It was an udder disaster….

I’d like to give it up to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.

A comedian committed suicide today… Took a knife straight to the jocular vein.

What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?? Attire

Wanna hear a joke? Western Feminism.

[job interview] “So do you have any questions you’d like to ask me?” Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?

A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe? John Cougar Melon Camp