I wonder how many other Sandy’s have come into men’s lives and taken their cars and houses, too.

Dave: I don’t want to sound stupid…. Me: Then stop right there and say nothing.

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.

Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that’s cool. One time I didn’t run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder.

Want to hear a clean joke? Henry took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.

A turkey was about to cross the road… when a chicken appeared and said “dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it”

a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide……… Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who’s gonna bring it back ?

Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727…

On Possession So me and my sister when in a fight and she said, “Your so possessive”, I responded, “What about my possession, is it ok?

How much do my arms have to weigh before I can be considered heavily armed?