Gentrification tends to happen during autumn Because the brown leaves.

What is your best wordplay joke? My personal favourite: Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was assaulted.

You know there are some trained minds that can tell a lot about a person just by looking at them. I like to call said minds ‘Presumptious, judgemental Assholes.’

What is a Pokemon’s favorite kind of nut? A Pi-cashew

Do you know why they call them Sperm Whales? Because they’re delicious!

Do you think a contortionist would go on a date with me? Even if I couldn’t fit in her box?

Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they hate Dicks

Genie: 1st wish ME: I wish for a pen G: #2 M: another pen G: wtf M: I already lost the 1st pen G: and ur 3rd M: ur not going to believe this

So UBER is not a dating app? *sigh* I kinda thought all those ‘Goodbye’ kisses seemed more awkward than usual.