Sex in the morning I bet it has been up here before, but I felt that it had to be out here again. Sex is one of THE best things to wake up to…. Unless you are in prison

I’m so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)

Two praying mantis’ sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I Oh shit, did you see that? Daaaamn. She straight up ate him.

How do Germans tie their shoelaces? In little knotsies….

Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar.. The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man.

I like Donald Trump how I like Destiny Overhyped and without a campaign.

i wanted som fried chicken but i didnt have any chicken so i fried an egg adn waited a few years

What’s white and kills you if it enters your eye? An airplane.

Did you hear what happened to the dildo farmer? He had a big problem with squatters.

Mama Bear: Ok but last time Papa Bear: Thanks, babe [she puts on a Goldilocks wig] Mama Bear (falsetto): I can’t sleep here! It’s toooo hard