If I was a fashion designer Id call myself “who” so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say “Who?” “Yes who?” “Yes.”

Why did the library book go to the doctor? It needed to be checked out; it had a bloated appendix.

What did the llama said to the other llama? Como se llama?

What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit

Reincarnation I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow. I told her she wasn’t listening.

People say there is safety in numbers… Tell that to 6,000,000 jews.

What did Davey Crocket say at the Alamo? “Where’d all the roofers come from?”

I heard this one from a crotchety old guy at Dunks yesterday What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire? Bernadette!

I went to the doctor with a hearing problem… I told him I got fucked in the ear. Now I have hearing aids.

My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house.