I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day… It was Risky Business.

North Korea claiming they test fired a big rock at Russia.

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road? Look out for the mice!

What is better than Roses on a Piano? Tulips on an Organ.

What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines? A Mountain Jew.

Did you guys hear the news? Apparently Donald Trump is a cuck.

Give a man a jacket, and he will be warm for the day. Teach a man to jacket, and he will never leave his house.

What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists cant change anything.

Alcohol makes people do things they know they shouldn’t but kinda want to. E.g I started sleeping 20 hours a day.