Australian Cricket Team

What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

How do you know humans can’t reincarnate as insects? You’ve ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits).

What is the most popular style in Moscow salons? A brushin.

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status… After 3 it should default to “Unstable”

I used a vaccum cleaner inside of an elevator It sucked on so many levels…

If by ‘lucky’ you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn’t self combust, then yes, I’m up all night to get lucky. . . Again.

What’s the worst aspect about Calculus teachers? They always go off on tangents in class.

People come up to me all the time in the street and they ask me, they ask me: “Say, Paul, what’s the Mahabharata?” And I say to them, I say, “Oh, just a bit of light reading.”

What do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7