Have u seen the movie “Constipated”? Oh that’s right it hasn’t come out yet.

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan? Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on??

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp? Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

windows 8: i got some updates me: cool windows: i have to restart me: okay not now windows: im going to me: please dont windows: lol

Only redditors would get this [deleted]

I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come… Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy bear.

I want to debate! Someone disagree with me! No.

Once there was a fire .. Once there was a fire in brothel. Some people came out running and others ran out cumming.

What’s the easiest way to twist someone’s arm? Thalidomide