Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC] Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

Why did the biology magazine put a picture of gametes on their cover? Because sex cells.

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night? No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That’s a new shirt, let’s put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous

Why did the siamese twins moved to England? So the other one would also drive

What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!

SURPRISE! -Sharts

My fat next door neighbor is lying face down on her front lawn. Don’t know if she’s passed out or eating the grass.

What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads!

What do you call math that gives you PTSD? Triggernometry