What can you make and break at the same time? A racket.

How did the Nucleus escape from prison? through the cell wall.

The F.U.N. Song F is for fascists who kill jews together U is for you and me N is for anywhere and any time at all down in the auschwitz death camp

In 2017, every TV show’s marketing plan will be to add a Trump parody character so he’s compelled to watch & cry on twitter about it.

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year? Pupil: 12 – 2nd January 2nd February…!

If life gives you melons you might be dyslexic.

Who represents a Ghost in court? A Paralegal.

HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What’s in it? HIM: What do you mean, “in it”?

What is the bounciest place in France? The dordogne.

“Ma’am, you had twins. They are fine and your boyfriend Chad named them” – Oh no “This is Debra” – aww I like that “And this is Depanties”