Why couldn’t the physicist get the Standard Model to work? Because it wouldn’t commute!

Im proud to be a black man! Said the black man Im proud to be an asian man! Said the asian man Im proud to be a white man! Said the racist

My friend told this great lumberjack joke the other day. But no one was around to hear it…

Why will Hillary Clinton make a bad president? Because she is a woman.

If I had a pound for every time i misunderstood an expression… I’d way a fucking ton!

How do you measure a Lego figure’s shoe size? In square feet.

Sex so good the peeping Tom made sandwiches.

Did you hear what happened to the computer programmer? His wife told him, “while you are out, buy some eggs.” He never came back.

Did you all hear about this morning after pill? Or what I like to call breakfast in bed.

Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest? Turns out he was just a bit shy.