What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce? One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.

What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own? A hue man.

No matter how much you love someone, your whole world can change within 5 seconds of watching them run.

What’s a baby seals’ least favourite drink? Canadian Club on the Rocks

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole? Quatro Sinco

When I’m in a conference room all by myself I like to pretend I’m having a very important meeting with chairs about chair shit.

They told me I had type “A” blood… turns out it was a typo.

One of the babies on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey ICU baby, shaking that ass.

What’s green and smells of pork? Kermit’s cock

Doctor: Ted, you’re dying, Patient: My name’s not Ted. Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you’re pregnant.