I started eating healthier recently. Instead of chicken wings alone I now drink beer with them, thus, preventing coking and prolonging life.

“Stop complaining about food Maliki, it could be worse. There are girls in America who had their hair ruined by some rain.”

Why didn’t the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be ‘too farty’. It would’ve been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

People consider me as God Santa : People consider me as a “GOD”. Banta : How do you know?? Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,”Oh GOD ! U have came again”.

If you woke up naked in the woods with a condom up your ass would you tell anyone? No?.. Wanna go camping?

“I can’t believe it’s not butter!” could be a disappointed statement as well. I’d like the context before I buy.

How many kids does a sterile German have? Nein.

IF YOU LIKE THAT FACEBOOK STATUS SO MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU MARRY IT?!

A bird in the hand is worth two… Years in prison if you get caught doing it in public.

A vinter had twin ginger daughters. He named the first Rosay and the second Rose bee.