At the beach, women wearing a bikini exspose 90% of their body. But I’m a gentleman, and only look at the remaining 10%

Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you’re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?

Flo: Try some of my sponge cake. Joe: It’s a bit tough. Flo: That’s strange. I only bought the sponge from the chemist this morning.

The one place you don’t want to move to …is any place with a thriving funeral buisness

From what I’ve seen 3d printers print more than d d d.

Why Gordon Ramsey hates WWE Because it’s f*cking RAW

I was playing football with some SJWs. They found my playing strategy highly offensive.

What do you call a striped bra? A zebra.

There are three rings that come with every marriage… First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and lastly the suffering.

Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens.