Waiter there’s a fly in my soup ! Yes it’s the rotting meat that attracts them !

How could you tell that the figure skater was a mathematician? Because of the Fibonacci sequins.

It only takes 3 inches to please a woman. And it doesn’t matter if it’s mastercard, visa or American express.

Why don’t parrot’s like black people? Because Polly wants a cracker.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

what is donald trump’s favourite party game? JINGO!

How do you spot an attention whore on reddit? [-]

I have had sex with so many other men this week I can’t keep em all straight

I just bought a used time machine on craigslist. They sure don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

Why has Ten been flirting with Seven? Because she heard that Seven eight Nine’s pussy.