Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He’s Dead Gym.

Female Coworker: I just got this implant in my arm. It’s for birth control. Me: I didn’t even know an arm could get pregnant.

What’s the most annoying thing about making cheese? The curds get in the whey!

What do you call a dirty Jew? Alive.

Kids, in my day we didn’t have text messaging. We had to write a “Do you like me: Yes or no?” note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.

My grandfather had a stroke this week.. He saw a picture of my grandmother when she was younger and couldn’t help himself.

What is the fastest insect in the World? “Lice” Why? … Because it is latching on a running Cheetah.

Why isn’t Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He’s a bit Shywalker. I’m so, so sorry everyone.

Did you hear about the overweight, alcoholic transvestite? He liked to eat, drink, and be Mary.

What famous hotel chain do muslims prefer when travelling on religious holidays? Ramadamadan.