Q: What do you call the Association of Blood Donors? A: The IV League.

How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb? Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let’s fix the current one in the dark.

Maybe I’m the good kind of fat like an avocado.

My sister is moaning and screaming because she’s sick. Good thing that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.

Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and he redistributes all of the drinks until everyone has the same amount of alcohol …

What do you call a dwarf psychic who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

Why did Beyonce sing “to the left, to the left”? Because black people don’t have rights.

There are 3 types of people in this world. 1. People who are good in math. 2. People who aren’t good in math.

What do you call a round knight? Sir Cumference

Dear grapefruit, putting the name of a better fruit in your name doesn’t change the fact that you taste like a lemon’s butthole.