Whats the difference between Jelly and Jam? I cant jelly my dick in your mouth

If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future.

Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan.

Loved Inception. It took me to exotic places I could never visit in real life, like the first class cabin of an airplane.

I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me anymore, you’re probably one of them.

When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to “make God laugh”? You wouldn’t order a dead carpenter to “make God some bookshelves.”

What do you call the stage a ladybug goes through before it becomes an adult? Pupa-ty. ^^**ba-dum* ^^*psh**

Without Women A world without women would be a pain in the ass.

I’d like to give a shout out to the sidewalk…. for keeping me off the streets.

How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help.