How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone? You add a dab of glue.

I think we need to stop having such a bad reaction to the fine bros… We may get sued.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your whole week.

What’s the difference between a black man and Batman? Batman can go into a store without Robin.

I have a job offer for you, and I will pay you huge sums for it. All you have to do is tie up my poop I shit, you knot

That hot person you’ve been flirting with over the internet has one normal arm and one shrivelled T. rex arm.

What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash

NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that’s it – from this day forward, NO MORE READING!

I love how people say they’re “expecting” a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.

We should stop making fun of fat people They have too much on their plate already