There’s a really annoying moth in my room. It’s been on my Silence of the Lambs poster for ages now.

I hate tacos Said no Juan ever

Which is more threatening? A big sword or a small sword? The small sword – it’s a little rapier

I dont make typos. I make new words.

What do you call a prostitute with her hands down her skirt? Self employed

Subway must have introduced a new Genius feature, because they just suggested I might like a drink with my sandwich. I do. Nailed it.

Oe Oe Oe so there’s these 2 monkeys bathing one monkey says: oe oe ooooe second monkey says: did you forgot to put some cold water in?

Did you guys hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.

What Did Delaware? A brand New Jersey!

How do you make an internet addict wait? I’ll tell you later.