To test my kid’s readiness for a pet I had her clean up poop in the yard all week and now I can’t go back to using the toilet.

The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now… But everything around it is Chile.

Why did the gay scarecrows get divorced after their surrogate mother aborted their IVF baby on obamacare? The whole thing was one big straw man argument.

Gynaecologist aka female private investigator

Ned: What does your Dad sell ? Ed: Salt. Ned: Well my dad is a salt seller too. Ed: Shake.

How many /r/Jokes mods does it take to change a light bulb? [removed]

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!

My brother… Likes driving black and white F1 race cars. They call him the F1 racist.

I hope it’s true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who’s alive.

Settle down, Levi’s commercial. You are talking about pants.