I’m perfectly fine with kissing frogs to find a prince…But I draw the line at kissing snakes.

Life is like a box of chocolates… When you’ve reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die.

What’s the difference between a robber and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch and the other watches your snatch

When you thought all of the celeb deaths of 2016 were over then WHAM!

Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days.

“I know” – me, on something I don’t know

Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I’m sobering up.

Ebenezer Scrooge must have been tripping pretty badly to see all those ghosts He probably popped a Marley

Nuts Two peanuts walk into a bar, one of em was a salted!

CAPS LOCK. BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO UNLEASH THE FURY!