Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant? Because it might be a moose steak.

4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.

Little league Played baseball with some orphaned kids today. 🙂 I won. None of them seemed to know where home was.

How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb? None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!

[working at Bed Bath & Beyond] ME: Hi there, may I help you? What are you looking for? CUSTOMER: Shower head. ME: Sir, please, we just met.

Can’t call it a real relationship if you feel single.

Q: What is Mozart doing right now? A: Decomposing.

Who wants to get enraged and go persecute Christians? No one.

Who forgot his phone charger today? THIS gu

Why was the Texan afraid of the clock? Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.