Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink all day.

2 goats were found to have dyslexia after turning up to a toga party.

What’s the difference between a paycheck and a penis? A woman will blow one every time.

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A: Even then men wouldn’t ask for directions!

RIP Fidel Castro You will be Commu-missed.

I noticed that my waitress had a black eye… So I ordered veeerrryyy slooowwwly, because she obviously doesn’t listen.

Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn’t want to waste time on things that don’t matter. He runs Facebook.

I hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck.

Skunks are just mean cats with asshole powers. Get it?

What do you call food between two slices of bread? a sandwich