Did you hear Chinese philosophers discovered gravity hundreds of years before Newton? Too bad they had so many durian trees.

Why is Iraq like the weather in Britain? Because it’s either Sunni or Shiite

Artistic people of Reddit, what is being artistic really like? And can I get fries with that?

So about that guy with the premature ejaculation problem…. …i heard he comes out of nowhere

Sex is like Kebab. When it’s good, it’s really good… …and when I’m drunk I’m willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet.

Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night.

Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you’ve only fucked yourself.

Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you.

You know you are old when… You need a viagra first before having sex

I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.