Church basketball What do you call a group of nuns who’s into basketball? Slam NUNk Who’s their MVP? Stephen Mary

Why don’t tortoises wear scarves? They have turtlenecks

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower? 100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

Pictures of rich missing kids should go on the back of 1%

What happens when a spoon and fork get into a fight? civilwar

The limerick writers on Twitter Can be justifiably bitter The limited length Is weakness, not strength And throws our last lines down the sh

A wise statistician once told me: Be thankful you have more hands than average.

Good credit is like Good Pussy, It sticks around until the money is gone.

Did you hear about this year’s newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet.

Somebody parked in my spot and now I’m in the market for a rocket launcher.