What does an Alzheimer’s patient say whenever they browse /r/funny? “Hey, this looks new!”

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.

Why did Adelle cross the road? To say hello from the other side.

So I’ve been studying up on clams lately I want to take up boxing, and I heard part of training is mussel memory.

What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say before he died? Aloha Ackbar!

Kristen Stewart looks like she always has mono

What’s the best part about having sex with 28-year-olds? There are 20 of them.

I told my friend he was noble…. He didn’t react.

I’m going to hell for this but….. *knock knock* Who’s there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *you said you’d never forget*