How was the Redditor with only one karma upvote able to look like he had five karma upvotes? He was a karma-karma-karma-karma, karma chameleon!

The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides! Your days are numbered missy.

if you’re stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life

We would tease Jacob because he had glasses. Once we pulled them of him, but then he began to tease us because we had glasses.

9/11 jokes aren’t funny… My dad died on 9/11. I still remember his last words “ALLAHU AKBAR”.

Just recorded the baby crying so I can play it back to him while he tries to sleep later to see how he likes it…

What does batman get in his drinks? Just Ice

My brother pointed to his coffee table and said “those are my new gloves” He’s always making off-hand remarks like that

Then a white guy laughed at his own joke with an intensity that hinted at a darkness within.

Damn girl, are you damn girl? Cuz damn girl.