What’s orange, and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons? If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown shoot it down.

What is it called when Batman leaves church? Christian Bale…

Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They’re plane wrong.

What do you call a Jewish wookie? Jewie get it? Chewie? from star wars?

*sings Batman theme *crawls along bars of death *rolls down slope *ascends tower *knocks out foes “Miss, you need to leave the playground.”

Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax.

What’s Hitler’s favorite letter? I don’t know, but certainly not Z.

Idea! Tiny headphones for pigeons who are self-conscious about their head bopping & want to make it look like they’re listening to music.

How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power? “This isn’t just a campaign, this is a political *revolution!*”