WHO AM I?-Everything Bagel

Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.

My spirit animal is a dolphin because I use sonar to make sure I’m peeing in the toilet every night.

I’m opening up a Battered Shrimp Shelter in my stomach.

What’s the main use for leather in the world? Holding cows together Edit: It doesn’t work if you apply too much logic. Just enjoy the joke

What’s the difference between a bucket of blended dead baby and a bucket of sand? I can’t gargle sand.

Shout-out to my arms For always being by my side

Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let’s go and play!

Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils? She was cross eyed.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists? They always worry about the worst case!