Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help.

Pasta Diet 1.. You walk pasta bakery. 2.. You walk pasta candy store. 3.. You walk pasta Ice Cream shop. 4.. You walk pasta fridge.

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird? A Doberman fincher!

There are 3 types of guys in this world 1) Handsome 2) Lucky 3) Me

I just swallowed a little hair color. I think I’m going to dye.

Astronauts are cowards, why don’t you stay down here and face earth’s problems like a man

I live with my wife in a two story house… “I’m too tired” and “I have a headache” are the only two stories I hear…

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Naaaaagggghhhhhhh.

If you set sail from Los Angeles, CA to Barrow, AK, what would your bering be? Strait

What do chemists say when they smell something that they don’t like? Pu