What do you call a dog cartographer? Newfoundland

Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space

What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on? A Dead End.

The other day, I went to www.conjunctivitis.com … Now *that’s* a site for sore eyes…

A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes that’s ridiculous I said, my dogs don’t ride bikes.

How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, please. Like they’ve ever changed anything that needed it.

Boobie joke….. (slightly NSFW?) How do you describe/measure a certain amount of boobies? In ‘quantitties’.

“The bad news is that you’ve had a stroke. The good news is that IKEA has hired you to name all their new products!”

I think I have an infallibility complex I’ve never been wrong before.

Driving back from funeral yesterday: Stairway To Heaven *click* Tears In Heaven *click* Highway To Hell *click* Macarena! *leaves it*