What do you get when you combine an excess of waste and recycling? r/jokes

The NSA isn’t all that bad It’s the only part of the American government that listens to its citizens!

It’s late and I’m wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I’d call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow.

Is it necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down? Not all of us are surgeons.

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky? At yeast he’s a fungi.

Yelling “PARKOUR” whenever your toddler falls over is an easy way to make him look like a cool free runner rather than a clumsy little idiot

I run a gambling ring where we throw humidifiers and dehumidifiers into a pit and let ’em fight that shit out.

What did the pervert say to the Sex Detective? I’m sorry officer I didn’t know this was your jurisdicktion. I heard this on a movie years ago, can anyone guess which one it was?

Why is owning a dog better than being in a relationship? My dog can’t tell people when I beat it.

I’m not bisexual. I’m ambisextrous.