Fe Fi Fo Fum Bopomofo First time to make a joke; I tried.

Whether you are a pile of rubble or dust in the wind… …depends on how you were razed.

Italian moms vs. Jewish moms At dinner the Italian mom says to their children, “eat..eat.. or I’ll kill you!” Where as the Jewish mom says, “eat… eat.. or I’ll kill myself!”

What kind of pokemon is a vagina that’s just had an extended session of hard sex? Vulvasore 😀

*Wildebeest film crew clatters into David Attenborough’s bedroom* ATTENBOROUGH: What the- WILDEBEEST DIRECTOR: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT DAVID

A boy asks his mom, “Why am I black and you’re white?” She says, “Don’t even go there. The way that party went, you’re lucky you don’t bark”

Jaded Prostitute & considerate leper What did the leper say to the prostitute? Stop me if you’ve heard this one

My stats professor told me that the larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data. I guess the N’s justify the means.

It’s no superpower but I’m pretty good at winding down my car window without moving my arm so it looks like I have power windows.

I want to get a medical bracelet that says, “Shy” so I can I just hold it up during social situations.