My dick is like my grades…. Because its curved.

How do you spot the violent kids at the circus? They go straight for the juggler.

What is the best thing about having sex with a transgender? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

My girlfriend took me bra shopping It was an uplifting experience

Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it’d be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?

How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

I was going to post this short, poignant gay joke.. Buttfuck it.

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

A nurse reached into her pocket looking for her pen and found a rectal thermometer instead. She turned to her colleague and said “some asshole has got my pen”.

In shop class… student: where do you keep your nails? teacher: on my hands, where else?