Happy New Year #2018 first.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. Concrete doesn’t break easily.

Until yesterday I thought Chatroulette was a French pastry. No wonder the bakery didn’t have any.

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris called it quits. But I am looking forward to her next album devoted to the break-up called ‘Calvin and Sobs’.

What do you call children born in whore houses? Brothel sprouts…

A squirrel walks into a bar high on shrooms…. …He looks at everybody and shouts: “YOU’RE ALL FUCKING NUTS!”

Macbeth Joke Lady Macbeth: Out damned spot! The dog named Spot: Ruff ruff ruff. [Exeunt/Leaves] Spot (Aside): Wow, I wonder why she hates me so much? I thought my bark was polite enough!

If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?

Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects … and no positive either.

As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone… …making it a weapon of mass reduction.