Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts.

Fun Fact: Cats call their pussies “people”

LOL jokes What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !

How do you get an art major off your porch? Pay for the pizza

“Parodies” or homages or whatever the fuck they are of the “Got milk?” ads are worse than AIDS + 9/11 + a 3rd thing you personally hate.

I’ve heard they’ve started holding races for the cure where the participants are actually cancer patients… …balderdash, if you ask me.

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

We see you, people who order tea at coffee shops. We see you…

Why are men the best chefs? Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman’s stomach for 9 months.