Never have sex before 20… It can be difficult to perform in front of an audience.

(Macbeth and lady Macbeth) “I killed King Duncan” Macbeth wtf!! “You told me to!!” I didn’t think you’d do it omg lmao savage

physics gives me a large hadron.

Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help.

Why did the chicken not cross the road? Because it was lunch

At midnight in the graveyard You can come across a grave with the name Billy McCrackin. If you go to the grave just after midnight and say “Billy, What are you doing?” He will say Nuthin’

friend: let’s meet up soon me: *in the crow’s nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though

I had sex with a prostitute in a clown costume before Stephen King wrote that horror novel. In a pro pre-It.

What is America worth? Nothing, it’s a free country.

I’m going to wait until lots of ppl get tattoos of my characters, then suddenly make my comic really racist and horrible