Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he was a fungi…

I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free. You racist!

I follow anyone who has “18+” in their bio. I’m waiting for them to post the second half of the math problem.

“Let there be one more blade!”-Gillette marketing concepts.

What kind of people are always in a damn hurry? Russians

toilet issues why did the dutch man have to get off the toilet? because it was all clogged up!

I don’t like camels And anybody who can go a week without a drink.

My can of whoop ass seems to have expired.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

Look, if all you have is candy corn in this van, I’m going to have to get out.