A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

Don’t be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they’ll spend more time manually checking your updates

What if toilet plumbing was really like those tubes at the bank and all the tubes just went to this one guy’s house and he’s really pissed

We’ll probably get a raging Boehner after the State of the Union address tonight.

Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got creped out.

Why can’t cows do ballet? Because they lactose.

too many moms aren’t taking care of themselves, need to just laugh more, reddit moms, what makes you laugh?

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions? It pains them to have standards.

I’m going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.

Whole Foods makes you feel like the million dollars it costs to shop there.