Why is seeing a snow leopard on the hunt almost, but not quite the rarest thing in the world? A ready predator is pretty rare, but not as rare as a pretty redditor! 🙂

Subway only exists because we’re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. “Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here’s $8.”

Why can’t you find any painkillers in the jungle? Because the Paracetomol

I like sleeping, it’s like death without the commitment.

What goes in hard but comes out soft and sticky? Gum

At the cinema. ME: Two tickets please! CASHIER: For the Hobbit? ME: How dare you sir, she’s my date.

What do you call a mexican protein? Amigo Acid

Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus.

The secret to having all of your dreams come true is to keep changing your dreams to something that’s just about to happen anyway.

A wise Chinese man once said, “if your dog barks, it’s undercooked.”