Ted Cruz believes in Creationism so he was really pissed off his daughters could be monkeys.

How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages

I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream. But for now I’ve put it on the back burner.

Four men on a boat had five cigarettes but no lighter. How did they light their cigarettes? One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.

Life is just better when you’re laughing.

I bet the best way to disguise your surveillance van is not to use van at all. Like, whoa, who’s in that hot air balloon? Probably not cops.

My friend tried to sell me a triangular monitor but I knew it was just a pyramid screen.

There is a bomb going to explode in 3…2…1… Holy shit, this blew up!

How much do Americans like racist jokes? Enough to make one President.

I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book. At least I know where I stand now.