How do Jewish kids learn to count? 10% off, 20% off, 30% off

[hospital] “We found the problem. There’s an entire sheep in your stomach.” “Is that bahahaad?” “Yes. It’s causing some internal bleating.”

I got 99 problems but I’m avoiding them all.

What kind of parents are see-through? Transparence!

we lost our power “why?” a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* “that’s awes-” it’s not as cool as it sounds

“You’re the bomb!” No, you’re the bomb!” A compliment in America but an argument in the Middle East Too soon?

I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven’t had is North Korean food. Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea.

What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? …Baaaaaahumbug

Apparently it’s not acceptable to moan when someone is demonstrating a choke hold on you in crisis prevention training.

There’s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs