Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds.

My wife said she was feeling Light-Headed from a Low Iron Level… So to help her, I raised the Ironing Board to a more Suitable Height…

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktator!

What’s fourteen inches and white? Nothing.

Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda? The Czech engine light is always on.

My girlfriend was on her. So I put it in her:

In my next life, I’d like to come back as someone who has a life.

GOD: I call them Water Buffalo ANGEL: But they live on land GOD: Yep ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: u really dont care anymore do u GOD: Not a bit

If I had a 1$ for every gender there was… I’d have 2 dollars.

Joke my dad told me: What’s black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her head