TIL why windows skipped a number going from Windows 8.1 to Windows 10 Because 7 8 9

What’s the difference between George W. Bush and Hitler? Hitler was an evil *genius*.

What’s the slowest, most painful way to kill yourself? Get married.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? to get to the body shop : )

Tried to catch fog yesterday… Mist.

What is the difference between a dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!

You might be a hipster if… Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit’s frontpage? Me: Naah, I don’t subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits.

Did you hear about the Zodiac killer? I heard he cut his victims in to little pisces!

A man goes to the library and asks for a book on satisfying your partner in the bedroom. The librarian said, “Let me check that it’s in first”. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

If there’s one thing children have taught me it’s how to count down from 5 while pretending there’s a huge consequence if I ever reach zero.