A cruise ship with a Gay Pride party on board… ran into a storm and began to take on water quickly but by some miracle did not sink. What saved the ship? “flambuoyancy”

Your momma so dirty she serves more requests than HTTP

Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.

What did the chinese pirate say? Awwlllll!

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So that no one find out he fucks chickens.

I’m a hard core Trekkie except instead of Star Trek, alcohol.

What do you call a police officer that shoots black people? A police officer in America.

In hindsight, I made two key mistakes on this family vacation: 1) Going on vacation 2) Taking my family

So I finally decided to read one of Freud’s books today… It’s been shitting on my self for awhile now.

My fake ID is so good, bars never suspect I’m not an organ donor.